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Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Still On My Weight Loss Journey


The picture of me on the left is when I was 17. This was before I got pregnant with my first child, my son. The picture of me on the right is me now... 7 years and 2 kids later. In 2005, I was 150lbs. I'm currently 212lbs. and I seem to still be gaining.

I am so angry with myself. I can not believe I let myself get to weight I am. I don't hate myself...I love myself enough to start trying to change again. I'm not sure why but it's very difficult for me. I can't just *stop* eating like an alcoholic can just *stop* drinking. I need food to live. So I'm starting to realize that it's the TYPES of food and the AMOUNT of food I need to change. This is very difficult for me because I'm such a HUGE choco-holic.

I've been failing myself. I feel like I'm failing every single day. Every night I go to bed and I tell myself "tomorrow will be different". I wake up in the morning, have a high protein low carb breakfast, but then something happens. I get this craving to eat chocolate. Maybe it's the salt in the bacon, but whatever it is, I'm determined to find a way to curb this craving. If you have any tips, they would be helpful. :)

I wanna be able to run around with my kids more. I mean, I play and run with them, but not as much as I'd like too. I can't run as fast as I used to and it really upsets me.

I wanna be sexy for my husband. Our marriage is fine but this is something I wanna do for him. We both deserve to enjoy my body. I'd love to be able to fit into a sexy piece of lingerie. I'd also like to wear dresses more often. I've really grown to love them and I'd like to look good wearing one without having to squeeze into a girdle that hurts my stomach.

My plan is to continue with this Low-Carb-High-Protein diet that I was doing before but to substitute lunch with a Slim Fast. My snacks can be bananas and apples. I love fruit! I just need to buy more of it when we go grocery shopping. I will also have ONE day a week to cheat and eat whatever I want.

I have only one big consistent problem... keeping my motivation. I have this motivation for about a month, and then all of a sudden, it diminishes. This time around, I'm hoping to blog whenever I need to so I can keep this motivation up.